Buenos Aires' BEST Kept Secret: Constitución Palace Hotel Review!
Buenos Aires' BEST Kept Secret: Constitución Palace Hotel - My Unfiltered Take! (SEO'd to DEATH!)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because you're about to get the REAL deal on the Constitución Palace Hotel in Buenos Aires. I'm talking the raw, unedited truth – not some sanitized hotel brochure BS. This place is supposedly a "best-kept secret," and after my stay, I'm inclined to agree, but not always in the way you'd think. SEO keywords? We're practically bathing in them! Accessibility, WiFi, Spa, Dining, Cleanliness… you name it, we'll cover it, even if it means I ramble a bit. Which, let's be honest, is guaranteed.
First Impressions: The Good, The Slightly Shaky, and the "Wait, What?"
The Constitución Palace, strategically located – I think – in the heart of who-knows-what, aims for a certain je ne sais quoi vibe. Think faded elegance meets… well, let's just say it's seen some things. The exterior is grand, a testament to a bygone era, but the devil, as they say, is in the details.
- Accessibility: Okay, MAJOR points here. Wheelchair accessible? YES! Elevators? Yup! But the ramp leading up to the main entrance was… a little wonky. My friend Sarah, in a wheelchair, navigated it fine, but I'm guessing it wouldn't pass inspection in the US. Facilities for disabled guests: They've got 'em! (More on this later).
- Check-in/out [express]: They claim it, I believe it, but let's just say the check-in process was… unhurried. Like, "Buenos Aires Time" unhurried. I'm talking leisurely, contemplative, a little confusing.
- Front desk [24-hour]: Good! Needed that, given my internal clock decided to shift to "European Tourist" mode.
- CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property: Safety is a priority, which is reassuring. Buenos Aires can be… lively.
The WiFi Saga: A Tale of Two Connections (And a Lot of Arguing with Routers)
Let's talk internet, shall we? Because, honestly, that's crucial. Right? Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! They tout it like it's the Holy Grail. And, technically, it is. But, uh… Internet access – wireless was a fickle beast.
- Internet access – LAN: The LAN cable was a lifesaver. When the Wi-Fi inevitably decided to take a power nap. So bring one!
- Wi-Fi in public areas: Better than the rooms, generally.
- Internet services: Non-existent beyond the aforementioned Wi-Fi and LAN, as far as I could tell.
- Wi-Fi for special events: Uh, I'm not sure I saw any special events. (Unless you count my attempts to get Netflix to work).
The Wi-Fi was… well, inconsistent. One minute streaming, the next… crickets. I'm talking full-on, eye-rolling frustration. I spent a good chunk of my first morning wrestling with the router, whispering sweet nothings (and then increasingly less sweet nothings) to it. My laptop workspace ended up being mainly a place to stare blankly at the spinning wheel of despair. This is a crucial aspect that needs to be taken more seriously. This needs to be better, that's all I'm going to say!
Rooms: Comfort and Quirks
My room? It was… a room. Air conditioning? Yep, essential in the Argentine summer. Blackout curtains? Blessedly, yes. I mean, the rooms were fine. Clean. (Mostly. More on cleanliness later).
- Desk: Basic, but functional. (See: Wi-Fi struggles above.)
- Refrigerator: Wonderful for keeping those empanadas cool.
- Daily housekeeping: Indeed. My bed was made every day. My bathroom? Less pristine. More on that later.
- In-room safe box: Important! Use it!
- Mini bar: Standard selection of overpriced snacks.
- Non-smoking: Thank goodness.
- Alarm clock: I'm more of a phone alarm kind of gal.
- Bathrobes: Yes. And they're that plush, fluffy kind. A small comfort in stressful times.
- Bathroom phone: A relic of a bygone era. Who on earth uses that?
- Bathtub, Shower, Separate shower/bathtub: My room only had the separate shower. I'd love to take a bath there but well… I couldn't.
- Extra long bed: Not extra enough for my long legs.
- Window that opens: Hallelujah! Fresh air is always a good thing.
The SPA and the Quest for Serenity (Emphasis on QUEST)
Okay, let's talk about the spa/sauna. Because this is what I was really excited about. Spa services, they got them! At least, in theory. Sauna? Yes! Steamroom? Yes! Pool with view? Uh… sort of. The view was… okay. Look, it wasn't a bad spa, but it was… understaffed and a little neglected.
- Body scrub, Body wrap, Massage: available, as advertised. The massage was decent but not earth-shattering. I've had better. More importantly, I really wanted to take advantage of the Pool with view! However, I arrived at what was advertised as being the end of a perfect day. But the pool was closed! I was devastated! It was a small indoor pool!
- Gym/fitness, Fitness center: The fitness center, was adequate, with a few free weights. The Foot bath was a nice touch, though.
- Swimming pool [outdoor], Swimming pool: The pool was not in operation.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Adventures in Argentine Cuisine
The restaurants and bar situation at the Constitución Palace was… interesting. The A la carte in restaurant option was there, but the menu felt a bit limited. I certainly didn't see any Asian cuisine in restaurant. However, that may have just been due to what options there were and may have been my mistake!
- Breakfast [buffet], Buffet in restaurant, Breakfast takeaway service: The breakfast was acceptable, a standard spread of pastries, fruit, and eggs. The Asian breakfast option was a no-go. I'm not sure they even knew what I was talking about.
- Restaurants, Poolside bar: The Poolside bar did not exist, at least not when I was there. Again, big disappointment.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop: They have coffee and tea! Yay!
I did indulge in a few desserts in restaurant, and they were pretty good. I didn't try the Soup in restaurant or Salad in restaurant options.
- Room service [24-hour]: Which was a HUGE benefit, especially after long days of exploring.
- Happy hour: I caught one, thankfully, and it was actually quite decent.
- Snack bar: A must for every hotel! It was useful for a couple of snacks.
- Vegetarian restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant: They had them all!
- Bottle of water: Free! A nice touch.
Cleanliness, Safety, and… Let's Just Say, "Variations in Execution"
This is where things get a little… messy.
- Cleanliness and safety: They claim to take these things seriously.
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Professional-grade sanitizing services: They say they use them.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Supposedly.
My experience? The common areas looked clean. The rooms? Hmm. There were a couple of areas where the cleaning could have been more thorough. Let's leave it at that, shall we?
- Cashless payment service: Available!
- Daily housekeeping: Yup. Though, see above about the quality of said housekeeping.
- Hand sanitizer: Plentiful throughout the hotel.
- Hygiene certification: I did not see this.
- Individually-wrapped food options: Mostly.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Attempted, with varying degrees of success.
- Safe dining setup: They tried.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Presumably.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: They seem to be.
- Sterilizing equipment: I didn't see it, but I didn't look.
- First aid kit, Doctor/nurse on call: A definite plus.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: Good to know.
The "Hidden Gems" and Other Conveniences
- Concierge: Helpful with booking tours and getting around.
- **
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your sanitized, perfectly-planned travel brochure. This is real life in the belly of the beast, the Constitución Palace Hotel in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Let's see if we survive, shall we? (Spoiler alert: probably… but with a good story to tell.)
Day 1: Arrival, Delusions of Grandeur, and a Bloody Steak (Oh, God, the Steak)
8:00 AM: Arrived at Ezeiza International Airport. Jet lag already kicking my butt. Managed to navigate the airport (thank GOD for Google Maps, my digital guardian angel) and get a taxi to the hotel. First impressions? The Constitución Palace looks… well, it looks like it used to be grand. A little faded elegance, a touch of "seen better days," but hey, it's got character, right? (That's what I tell myself to avoid immediate buyer's remorse.)
9:00 AM: Check-in. The receptionists are friendly, but my Spanish is… let's call it "enthusiastic." I'm pretty sure I accidentally called one of them a “ferret” trying to say “foreigner”. Awkward. Room's… cozy. Okay, small. Tiny, actually. But the view from the window… chef’s kiss. Overlooking a bustling street. I can already smell the impending chaos of the city.
10:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Unpacked (mostly). Admired the view (again). Contemplated a nap (tempting). Resisted. Gotta hit the ground running!
12:00 PM: Lunch at El Ateneo Grand Splendid (the bookstore in a converted theater). OMG. This place is insane. Books everywhere, ornate balconies, and seriously, the sheer volume of words almost gave me a panic attack. I found a quiet corner and nursed a coffee, feeling… utterly, gloriously overwhelmed. This is what travel is supposed to be like, right? Lost in the beauty of a new place?
2:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Walking Tour! I joined a free walking tour (always a good way to get the lay of the land). We went through the vibrant La Boca neighborhood, and the colorful houses, and the tango dancers put on an amazing show. It was… intense. So many people, so many smells (the good and the… less good), and the guide spoke so fast I only caught every other word. But I made an effort. I even managed to understand some of it. Mostly I was just focused on not getting lost.
7:00 PM: Dinner at La Cabrera (a famous steakhouse). Okay, here's where things got REAL. I ordered THE steak. The biggest one I dared to order, a huge, juicy, perfectly cooked slab of beef. (I think I may have embarrassed myself by moaning audibly at the first bite.) It was heaven. Absolute, unadulterated, carnivorous heaven. But… the waiter… he kept refilling my wine glass. And I kept drinking. I’m beginning to suspect that I’m a raging lightweight (I really think I had like 2 glasses of wine).
9:00 PM: Back at the hotel. Stumbled. Tripped over my own feet. Pretty sure I giggled hysterically at a painting in the lobby. Note to self: Learn the meaning of "moderate" in Spanish. Also, drink more water.
Day 2: Tango, Regret, and the Quest for Dulce de Leche
- 8:00 AM: Wake up with a head that feels like it’s been used for a drum solo. Great start. Scrambled to find some ibuprofen, which I’m pretty sure I hid from myself last night.
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast at the hotel. The breakfast buffet… let's just say it was a "continental" experience. I managed to choke down some coffee, a stale croissant, and a slice of something vaguely resembling cheese.
- 10:00 AM: Tango Class! Oh, sweet merciful heavens, Tango. I'm not built for this. My coordination is non-existent, I have the grace of a… well, a slightly tipsy flamingo. But it was fun! I mostly tripped over my own feet, bumped into my partner (who was surprisingly patient), and laughed a lot. We were trying to find the best tango school, and this one had some very serious dancers.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch. I had a lovely empanada to compensate for the morning training.
- 1:00 PM-4:00 PM: Exploring the San Telmo Market. This place is a treasure trove of antique shops and tango performances. I may have accidentally bought a vintage fedora that doesn’t suit me at all. Bargaining is an art form, and I'm a complete amateur. I probably paid way too much. But it's beautiful!
- 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM: The Quest for Dulce de Leche. A serious mission. I was determined to find the perfect jar of the stuff. Wandered into several local shops, sampled about a dozen different types (purely for research purposes, of course!), and finally found one that… well, it’s probably not the perfect dulce de leche, but it’ll do.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner: Pasta in a small trattoria. Simple, comforting, and exactly what my weary soul (and slightly aching feet) needed.
- 9:00 PM: Journaling, contemplation. I think I need a massage tomorrow. Or a lifetime supply of dulce de leche.
Day 3: Parks, Panic, and Packing… or Lack Thereof
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast. Decided to embrace the "continental" experience. Choked down more coffee.
- 10:00 AM - 1:00 PM: Exploring. I went to the Japanese Gardens. Beautiful. Peaceful. A much-needed dose of zen after two days of utter chaos. Then, a stroll through the serene Parque Tres de Febrero, which I was told was "the lungs of Buenos Aires." (They need a REALLY STRONG set of lungs, I tell you.)
- 1:00 PM: Lunch. Another Empanada.
- 2:00 PM - 3:00 PM: Panic Mode – Packing. Okay, so my flight leaves tomorrow. The panic sets in. I'M NOT READY TO LEAVE. I’m going to miss the steak, the tango, the overall vibe of this city. Then I actually started packing. My suitcase looks like a bomb went off in a clothing store. So my suitcase is still sitting on the bed, threatening to explode.
- 4:00 PM: Final meal. I went back to La Cabrera for one last, glorious, melt-in-your-mouth steak. One last, "I can do this" glass of Malbec.
- 6:00 PM: Wandering the streets. Saying goodbye to Buenos Aires. Or, trying to.
- 9:00 PM: Back at the hotel. Trying to pack. Packing is still a disaster. Writing this journal entry. Thinking about all the things I'll miss, like the crazy energy of Buenos Aires.
- 10:00 PM: Giving up on packing. Leaving the suitcase for future me to deal with. Trying to sleep.
Final Thoughts:
The Constitución Palace Hotel? Not perfect. A little rough around the edges. But it was mine for these few days. Buenos Aires? Overwhelming, beautiful, intense, and utterly captivating. I’m leaving a piece of my heart here and I know I’ll be back. Now, can someone please send help to pack my suitcase?
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Constitución Palace Hotel: The Secret's Out (Maybe...) - FAQs for the Curious (and Slightly Skeptical) Traveler
Okay, spill! What's the Big Deal About Constitución Palace? Is it REALLY a "best kept secret"?
The Location, Location, Location! Is it ACTUALLY convenient? Or, you know, loud and sketchy?
What about the Rooms? Are they… habitable? Or more like "abandoned asylum chic"?
Is there Wi-Fi? (Important!). And, what about the breakfast?
How's the Staff? Are they helpful or… mysteriously absent?
Are there hidden costs?! What about the elevator?
If I'm considering staying there, what's ONE crucial piece of advice you'd give me?
Did you *like* it? Would you go back?
