Escape to Newberry, SC: Your Perfect Stay Awaits at Holiday Inn Express & Suites!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into a review so raw, so real, it’ll probably need a trigger warning for… well, everything. I'm going to try my best to cover everything mentioned about the hotel, but let’s be honest, I'm a human, not a spreadsheet. So expect tangents, opinions, and the occasional existential crisis related to the sheer volume of amenities. Let's go!
Hotel Review: The Good, The Bad, and the "Did I Just See a Squirrel?"
First, let’s get the basics out of the way. I’m talking about this place with… well, you’ll see.
Accessibility: Navigating the Labyrinth (or Trying To)
Alright, so Accessibility. This is always my first stop. Because honestly, the first thing I’m picturing is my elderly Aunt Mildred trying to navigate a flight of stairs. So, Wheelchair accessible? Crucial. And, let’s be real, it SHOULD be standard practice in 2024. I need the hard facts, okay? Were there ramps? Elevators? Did they remember to make the hallways wide enough for a wheelchair and a slightly overenthusiastic tourist with a shopping bag? This is the stuff of nightmares, or pleasant surprises. Give me the deets. We're also talking about Facilities for disabled guests specifically. Are they available? Is it a genuine effort, or a token gesture? Because, frankly, I've seen both.
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges: Crucial. If my Aunt Mildred can't eat somewhere accessible, what's the point? And are the tables spaced thoughtfully, or crammed together like sardines in a tin?
The Digital Realm: Wi-Fi, Internet, Oh My!
Internet access: Okay, vital. We live in the age of instant gratification and needing to post a selfie of your breakfast before you've even eaten your breakfast. But the quality of the internet is a make-or-break situation.
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! HALLELUJAH! This is a non-negotiable. I expect it in my hotel room. I don't want to have to wander the lobby like some digital nomad, fueled by stale coffee, praying for a signal. Bonus points for speed. Give me bandwidth, or give me… well, a very grumpy review.
Internet [LAN]: Ah, the ghost of internet past. A LAN connection, for those of you too young to remember, is the hard-wired version of internet. Do they still have it? Is it fast? Or am I looking at dust-covered cables and dial-up noises?
Internet services: Anything extra? Business center? Computer rentals? These are the added touch.
Wi-Fi in public areas: Okay, good. For when you need to escape the confines of your room, but still desperately need to check the latest meme or catch up on emails.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: The Spa, The Pool, and My Attempt to Avoid the Gym…
This is where things get interesting. Because let’s face it, a hotel is supposed to be a respite from the everyday. So, what's on offer to unwind?
Spa, Spa/sauna, Sauna, Steamroom: Ah, the trifecta of relaxation. Do they deliver? Is the spa clean? Are the treatments over-priced and underwhelming? Or is it a little slice of heaven? I want details, people. Specifics. Is the sauna a dry heat, or a wet heat? And, like, is it actually hot? Or just lukewarm?
Pool with view, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]: Pools are essential. But a pool with a view? That’s luxury. Is the water clean? Are there enough sun loungers? And, perhaps most importantly, is there a decent poolside bar for cocktails?
Body scrub, Body wrap, Massage: These are the added cherry on top. Does that massage actually work, or is it just someone rubbing you with oil for an hour?
Fitness center, Gym/fitness: Okay, I try to be good. Give me the low down. Are there treadmills? Weights? Is it fully functional or just a sad little room with a broken elliptical and dust bunnies?
Foot bath: Never tried it. I would be willing to try it.
Cleanliness and Safety: Is This Place Spreading Germs… or Peace of Mind?
In the post-pandemic world, cleanliness isn't just a bonus; it's a necessity.
Anti-viral cleaning products: Good! I like it.
Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service: Both excellent options, depending on my mood and how late I'm running. Bonus points if the breakfast is actually good.
Cashless payment service: Convenient.
Daily disinfection in common areas: Yes, please!
Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit: Reassuring.
Hand sanitizer: Staple.
Hot water linen and laundry washing: Critical for a hotel, honestly.
Hygiene certification: Great. Shows they care.
Individually-wrapped food options: More appreciated than ever.
Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Important, especially in crowded areas.
Professional-grade sanitizing services: Okay, they appear to be going above and beyond.
Room sanitization opt-out available: Fine, I guess.
Rooms sanitized between stays: Non-negotiable.
Safe dining setup: I want to be able to eat my food – not spend my time worrying.
Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Please.
Shared stationery removed: Good move.
Staff trained in safety protocol: Very, very important.
Sterilizing equipment: Solid.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: My Stomach’s Guide to the Hotel
This is where I start to get really opinionated, because food is my love language.
A la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Bar, Bottle of water, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant: Deep breath This is a lot. A lot of opportunities to either delight, or disappoint. The sheer variety is impressive. But is the food good? Give me all the details.
- Buffet or A la Carte? I'm a buffet girl, but it has to be a good buffet. I want options. I want fresh ingredients. I want things that I don't have to try and identify. And I want a good pastry section.
- Poolside Bar: A must. Does the bartender know how to make a decent margarita? Is the bar stocked with good liquor?
- Room Service: 24 hours? Okay, they’re speaking my language. Is it fast? Is the menu extensive? Can I order a pizza at 3 AM?
- Restaurant Variety: Having options is crucial.
Services and Conveniences: Does this place make my life easier?
Air conditioning in public area: Essential, especially if you’re somewhere warm.
Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center: Wow. That's a lot of services. I'd settle for a decent concierge, and a reliable laundry service. The rest is just bonus, right? I love having a convenience store available, because honestly, who doesn't forget something?
For the Kids: Keeping the Little Monsters (and Their Parents) Happy
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: This is important for a family on vacation. If they've got good child-friendly facilities, tell me about them. More details, please!
Access: Security, Peace of Mind, and Avoiding the Creepy Crawlies
- **CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private], Couple's room, Exterior corridor, Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour], Hotel chain, Non-smoking rooms, Pets allowed unavailablePets allowed, Proposal spot, Room decorations, Safety/security feature, Security
Alright, buckle up, buttercups! This ain't your grandma's perfectly polished travel itinerary. This is the Holiday Inn Express & Suites Newberry, SC, by IHG itinerary… or, you know, my itinerary. Let's get messy. Let's get real. Let's get… breakfast sausage-y.
Subject: Newberry or Bust (and maybe back again, who knows!) - A Trip Report
Day 1: Arrival & The Great Bed Crisis (aka, Why I Didn't Sleep)
- 1:00 PM: Arrived at the Holiday Inn Express. Honestly, the drive down I-26 was a blur of trucks and existential dread. Why do we do this to ourselves? Anyway, check-in was, thankfully, painless. The front desk guy seemed genuinely happy to see me, which either meant it was a slow day or he was secretly judging my travel outfit (questionable floral print shorts, don't judge).
- 1:30 PM: Into the room! Standard fare: two queen beds, a desk that looked suspiciously like it hadn't been dusted since the Clinton administration, a mini-fridge humming a mournful tune. The first queen bed? Rock solid. Like, I think I could have carved a sculpture out of it. Immediately called the front desk, feigning a dramatic allergy to anything other than a marshmallow cloud. They switched my room. Yay! Second bed? Even WORSE. It was like sleeping on concrete infused with anger. I'm talking actual, physical discomfort. By 2:30 AM, I'd given up. I stared at the ceiling for another two hours, seething. I was going to make a formal complaint in the morning, that's for sure.
- 3:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Decided to explore Newberry. Found a charming little antique shop that smelled wonderfully of old paper and dust. Almost bought a rotary phone, just for the nostalgia. (Regretted not buying it later, of course). The highlight was the old lady that ran the shop, she was a real character.
- 5:00 PM: Back at the hotel. More bed-related anxiety. Briefly considered sleeping on the bathroom floor, but that seemed drastic. Drank a whole bottle of water.
- 6:30 PM: Decided to drown my sorrows (and the bed’s harsh reality) at the Applebee's down the road. Ordered a burger, which was surprisingly delightful, and three glasses of iced tea. This might have been the best part of the day.
- 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Attempted sleep. Failed miserably. The bed was a monster. I spent the entire night alternating between tossing and turning, cursing the hotel bed gods, and silently planning my revenge. The noise from the air conditioner didn't help matters.
Day 2: Breakfast, Redemption (Sort Of), and the Search for Softness
- 7:00 AM: Breakfast. This is the moment of truth. I went down there with the mindset that this would be the best part of the day. Woke up and got ready, I thought the bed had finally given up. The breakfast itself was pure hotel perfection: scrambled eggs that looked questionably yellow, undercooked bacon, stale muffins, and a waffle maker that I somehow, miraculously, managed to operate without burning myself. The coffee tasted like battery acid, but hey, caffeine is caffeine. I saw some other hotel guests, some of them had small children, and the other ones were looking equally tired.
- 8:00 AM: More room complaining.
- 9:00 AM - 12:00 AM: Found a local park for a walk. This was the most peaceful part of my trip. I got a coffee at a local coffee shop and it made the trip better. The bed was like a distant nightmare.
- 1:00 PM: Back at the hotel. Had an urge to go back to my room. I was dreading it.
- 2:00 PM - 4:00 PM: I decided to revisit the antique shop from yesterday, because I was desperate and needed something to cheer me up. The owner was still there. I decided to ask her if she knew anything about the hotel, and she went on a 20-minute rant about the hotel's reputation. I felt a little relieved to hear it wasn't just me, but also a little saddened.
- 5:00 PM: The hotel staff again. I had to tell them my experience. I just kept on telling the front desk. They looked so tired.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner. This time at the IHOP down the street. More carbs, more caffeine. More impending sleeplessness. 😭
- 7:00 PM: Back in my room to prepare for another night of torture. This time, I'm prepared. I brought a pillow of my own.
Day 3: Escape! (And Maybe a Future Lawsuit?)
- 6:00 AM: Woke up, miraculously somewhat rested! It wasn't a good sleep, but it was something.
- 7:00 AM: Breakfast, with a grim determination. Ate the fruit while staring at the front desk staff.
- 8:00 AM: Checkout. I let the front desk know, again, about my experience, and I'm almost positive there will be some action taken.
- 9:00 AM: Hit the road. Freedom! Or, at least, freedom from that bed.
- The Verdict: The Holiday Inn Express & Suites in Newberry, SC? It's a mixed bag. The staff are lovely. The bed, however, is a war crime. If you're looking for a place to rest your weary head, maybe bring your own mattress. Or just, you know, sleep in your car. Just kidding. Mostly.
Final Thoughts:
This trip was an adventure. A sleep-deprived, caffeine-fueled adventure. Would I go back to Newberry? Maybe. Would I stay at this Holiday Inn Express again? Absolutely not. Unless, that is, they’re willing to give me a suite with a Tempur-Pedic. A girl can dream, right?
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