Escape to Paradise: La Morada's Boutique Charm in Asunción, Paraguay
Escape to Paradise (Maybe): A Frankly Flawed, Frankly Fabulous Review of La Morada Boutique Hotel in Asunción
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to spill the Paraguayan tea on La Morada Boutique Hotel in Asunción. This isn’t your sanitized, corporate review. This is real. This is me, hopped up on questionable coffee, relaying my experience – the good, the bad, and the utterly bizarre. And trust me, there was plenty of bizarre.
First Impressions (and a near-miss with a rogue hibiscus)
La Morada, from the pictures, promises a slice of Eden. And honestly? It mostly delivers. The exterior is what you'd expect a boutique hotel in Asunción to be: charming, with a courtyard practically begging for Instagram posts. The Accessibility is a bit of a mixed bag. They say they have Facilities for disabled guests, and the Elevator is a plus, because seriously, who wants to haul luggage up winding stairs in the Paraguayan heat? But the actual execution? Well, let's just say navigating some of the pathways required the grace of a gazelle and the spatial reasoning of a seasoned Tetris player.
My first immediate emotional reaction? Excitement! This place looked stunning. The first thing I saw was a MASSIVE hibiscus flower, that was almost a little bit too close for comfort. I thought it was going to conk me on the head as i first tried to enter.
Cleanliness & the Covid-19 Tango:
Okay, let’s talk COVID. La Morada clearly takes this seriously, and that's reassuring. They've got the full shebang: Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Staff trained in safety protocol, Hand sanitizer… you name it, they've probably got it. I even saw them Sanitizing kitchen and tableware items – which, let's be honest, is something I'm more worried about in a "normal" restaurant than during a pandemic. This is a serious point of consideration for me due to my health sensitivities. My allergies are nothing to sneeze at. They go beyond sniffles and hives; there's some serious stuff that happens when I'm exposed to the wrong allergens. So, I was very happy to see the level of precautions they took.
There were so many precautions and safety measures you would think you were inside of a hospital. That said, do you know what I missed? The actual warmth of a non-apocalyptic experience. Maybe I'm just craving a little lightheartedness in my life right now (and maybe some free cake, too).
They even offered Room sanitization opt-out available, which I found…odd. Like, are people that desperate to live in a petri dish? But hey, options, right?
My Room: A Kingdom (Almost!)
My room? Oh, my room. It was supposed to be a sanctuary. It almost was. The Air conditioning cranked out some serious chill (essential in Asunción!), and I reveled in the Blackout curtains that wrestled the light back into the darkness of night. The Bed was comfortable, the lighting was perfect. I can't remember when I slept so well. It was a real experience.
The Bathroom was a solid win. The Additional toilet was a nice touch (because, you know, priorities). The Shower worked, and the Toiletries were actually decent! I am the kind of person that judges a place by the quality of the toiletries, so this was another plus. The fact that they're so good means they have the experience that they're providing is a lot higher quality in general.
Then the cracks began to show. The Internet access – wireless was… temperamental. One minute blazing fast, the next resembling a dial-up modem in the 90s. The Desk was, well, let's just say it wasn't designed for someone who actually works from their room. And the Mirror? Let's just say it showed me more than I wanted to see in the morning. Seriously did not want to see a reflection of all the travel fatigue.
Dining & Drinking: Adventures in Food
The Breakfast [buffet] was… interesting. They advertised an Asian breakfast (tempting!), but what actually appeared was a collection of pastries, a mystery meat dish (which I cautiously avoided), and the usual suspects. The Coffee/tea in restaurant was strong, which definitely helped!
I did spend a lot of time in the Poolside bar. The Poolside bar was where the magic happened. Happy hour was solid! The bartenders were attentive, the mojitos were strong (and necessary), and the ambiance was pure relaxation. The Pool with view was the real star. Sunsets over Asunción from there are something else.
However… the A la carte in restaurant experience wasn’t always smooth sailing. One night, I waited an hour for a salad. An hour. And when it finally arrived, half the lettuce was limp. (Cue my dramatic sigh).
The bright side? The Snack bar served up some killer empanadas, so that was a win.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax – Or, The Spa Saga…
La Morada clearly leans into the relaxation aspect. The Spa/sauna, the Fitness center, the Massage options… they’re all there. And I, being a stressed-out traveler, was thrilled.
I booked a Body wrap. I envisioned myself emerging from the cocoon of pampering, radiating a newfound sense of serenity. Instead, I got… well, an experience. The therapist was lovely, but the room was chilly. I swear I could see my breath. And the body wrap itself? Let’s just say it involved a lot of seaweed and some questionable music choices. (Think Barry Manilow meets elevator music). I don't hate Barry Manilow, but that was not the time or place! But hey, the Body scrub that followed was divine, so it wasn’t a total loss. Did I feel relaxed? Debatable. Did I feel thoroughly exfoliated? Absolutely.
Quirks and Quirks and More Quirks…
Alright, here’s where La Morada really shines – in its glorious, slightly chaotic, charm.
- The Shrine: Yes, there’s a Shrine tucked away in the courtyard. I’m not entirely sure what it’s for, but it added a certain… something.
- The Doorman: The Doorman was a legend. Always a smile, always helpful, always magically producing taxi cabs. He was an absolute gem.
- The Lost & Found: Apparently, people lose a lot of stuff. I saw about ten pairs of glasses in the lost and found. I don't know if that says something good or bad about this experience.
- The Soundproof Rooms: Seriously, they seem to have mastered the art of blocking out the sounds of Asunción.
- The Security: I definitely felt safe there. I was able to leave my door unlocked and nothing bad happened.
Services and Conveniences – The Good, the Bad, and the Meh
La Morada offers a wide range of Services and conveniences, honestly. The Concierge was very helpful, especially when it came to making recommendations for tours and excursions. The Laundry service was prompt and efficient. The Luggage storage was a lifesaver when I had a long layover.
- On the downside, the Currency exchange rate was… not great. I had trouble accessing the Cash withdrawal services in a timely manner.
- The Gift/souvenir shop was cute, but the items were a bit overpriced.
- The Meeting/banquet facilities seemed very popular, but I did not get a chance to experience any of them.
For the Kids (Because You Never Know…):
While I didn't travel with kids, La Morada does seem to be Family/child friendly. They have Babysitting service (score!), and I saw a few Kids facilities around the property. I appreciated the option.
Getting Around – Let's Face It, You'll Need a Taxi
La Morada provides an Airport transfer, which is a major plus. They also have a Car park [free of charge] and offer Taxi service and Valet parking. Asunción is not the easiest city to navigate on foot, so having those options is essential.
The Verdict: Flawed, but Worth It (Probably)
La Morada Boutique Hotel is not perfect. It has its quirks, its foibles, and its moments of utter bewilderment. But it’s also charming, comfortable, and full of character. It's the kind of place where you might have a slightly-too-long wait for your salad, but you'll also witness a stunning sunset by the pool and chat with the friendly staff.
Would I go back? Probably. It's imperfect, yes, but it's got a heart. And sometimes, that's all you need in a hotel. Just be prepared for the unexpected. And maybe bring your own earplugs.
Escape to Paradise: Riverstone Lodge, Harare's Hidden Gem
Alright, buckle up buttercups! This ain't your grandma's itinerary. We're diving headfirst into the chaotic, beautiful, mosquito-bitten heart of Paraguay, starting with La Morada Posada Boutique in Asuncion. Consider this my mental scrapbook, spilled onto the page… and potentially a little bit of coffee.
Day 1: Arrival and the First Bite (and the Unexpected Dog)
14:00: Land in Silvio Pettirossi International Airport (ASU). Assuming the baggage handlers haven't decided to play footsie with my suitcase (which, let's be honest, is a real possibility after all those South American flights), I'll grab a remis (taxi) to La Morada. Oh god, praying I haven't forgotten to pack adapters AGAIN. I'm picturing myself huddled around a dying phone, hopelessly searching for a map.
15:00: Check into La Morada. Okay, initial thoughts? Charm. Overload. Tiny courtyard with a fountain that might be working. The brochure promised "rustic elegance," and well, they weren't wrong. It's more like "rustic-chic-possibly-held-together-by-prayer-and-a-lot-of-love." The staff? Delightful. Overly eager, in the best way. And the breakfast… (more on that later).
16:00: Explore the neighborhood. La Morada's in the historic center, which they say is "charming." I say it's seen better days, but it still exudes a certain faded glory. The streets are cracking, the buildings are crumbling, and the air smells of… well, a mix of history, exhaust fumes, and maybe a hint of bougainvillea. The thing is, it works. I'm instantly and madly charmed.
- Anecdote Time: I actually walked into someone's yard because I got completely lost admiring the architecture. A little yappy dog the size of a loaf of bread let out a ferocious bark. I was so startled I almost shrieked. The homeowner just chuckled and waved me past. Paraguayans are ridiculously forgiving, it seems.
18:00: Dinner at Tierra Colorada. This place had been recommended by the hotel. Ah, divine, I ordered the sopa paraguaya (surprisingly, not a soup but a cornbread). I devoured it. The wait staff wasn’t much, but eventually I got a coke. Goodness. I also tried the locro as well. It was a bit overbearing and I couldn't finish it. I wish I got to try the meat though.
20:00: Back to La Morada to collapse. The cobblestone streets are brutal on the ankles! And maybe write a bit in the journal. Okay, the journal is a lie. I'm probably going to watch Netflix. My brain feels like it's been run over by a donkey cart.
Day 2: Delving Deeper and the Art of the Nap (and the Questionable Chicken)
08:00: Breakfast at La Morada. The brochure promised fresh fruit, which it delivered. The coffee? Strong enough to wrestle a sloth. I can’t remember the name of the juice I had, but it was good. The thing is, the breakfast isn't the main show… it's the ambiance. It's like being in a sun-drenched, slightly crumbling, meticulously-decorated-by-someone-who-really-loves-vases-and-antique-mirrors haven. I'm obsessed.
09:00: Visit the Museo del Cabildo. I'm not a huge museum person, but this one is okay, actually. The history of Paraguay is a rollercoaster of dictators, wars, and… well, more dictators. It's fascinating, if a little depressing. The building itself is stunning, and the courtyard is the perfect spot to escape the heat and contemplate the meaning of… well, something.
11:00: Walk to Casa de la Independencia. Seriously, does everyone in Asuncion have a house made of rainbows and sunshine? This place is beautiful. The colors! The architecture! The fact that the air conditioning is definitely not working.
12:30: Lunch. I stumbled upon a little bodega (deli). The food was tasty, but the real show was the owner. He was a small man with a bigger than life personality. We barely spoke the same language, but we managed to have a complete conversation about the merits of the perfect tomato. Pure joy, honestly.
14:00: THE NAP. This is non-negotiable. The heat is relentless. A nap is essential.
16:00: Back to exploring! This time, I'm braving the Mercado 4. This is where the real fun begins, or at least where the experience gets "interesting". Row upon row of stalls, overflowing with everything from knock-off designer handbags to live chickens. The smells, the sounds, the sheer chaos… it's overwhelming, but it's also incredibly vibrant and authentic.
- Quirky Observation: I saw a woman haggling for a used car tire while simultaneously breastfeeding a baby. Paraguay, you are something else.
18:00: Dinner. Ugh. Tonight I tried a restaurant in a neighborhood called Lomitería. I ordered fried chicken. I swear to god it was the hardest, most flavorless, and weirdest textured chicken I've ever had. I think it may have been the worst meal I've ever had in my entire life. But I gave it a try and it was good. The waiter was nice, but the food was just incredibly flawed.
20:00: Bed. I’d love to do something else tonight, but honestly, I’m exhausted.
Day 3: Repetition and a Return to the Lovely (and the Revelation)
08:00: Breakfast at La Morada. Oh man. Okay, here’s the thing about La Morada. Breakfast is basically the same every day, but I don't care. I could eat that breakfast for a month, maybe forever. The music is some super chill indie folk. The decor continues to charm the socks off me. The staff still seem genuinely excited to see me. It’s like a warm hug, and I'm addicted.
- Emotional Reaction: Seriously, I could live here. This place is a freaking haven.
09:00: Actually, I might go back to the Casa de la Independencia. I somehow didn’t take enough photos. And maybe go for a short walk.
- Rambling: This city has some real problems you can see, but it’s an absolute dream. The feeling here is so calm, so natural. I don’t know. Maybe I’m getting soft.
12:00: Lunch. I will probably find a place recommended by the hotel. Or maybe I’ll wing it. Depends on how my mood goes.
14:00: MORE NAP. I have to. It’s the only way.
16:00: The Museo del Barro. Another museum. Honestly, I wasn't expecting much. This place will be awesome, I bet.
18:00: Farewell Dinner somewhere nice. I’ll check with the hotel. Maybe a nice steak. Maybe something else. It’s the last night, and while a small part of me is itching to get back home, most of me… most of me is already planning my return trip.
20:00: Back to La Morada. Pack. Prepare for the inevitable goodbye. Maybe sit in the courtyard, one last time, because I’m going to miss this place terribly.
Revelations: Okay, here's the thing. This isn't just a trip. It's a mood, a vibe, a feeling. La Morada? It's not just a hotel. It's the perfect little microcosm of Paraguay itself: a mix of beauty and grit, chaos and calm, a place that will work its way into your heart and make you want to stay, forever.
Day 4: Departure and the Lingering Smell of Paradise
07:00: Wake up. Last La Morada breakfast. I will eat it. I will enjoy it. I will savor it.
08:00: Last-minute souvenir shopping (probably something hilariously tacky).
09:00: Taxi to the airport. Did I pack everything? Praying. Praying for no missing socks. Praying for no flight delays. Praying that the next time I'm here, I have a better grasp of Spanish… and that I've finally mastered the art of the perfect Paraguayan nap.
Departure: And now, I'm off. My heart is full, my stomach is full, and my suitcase is probably a little bit heavier. Until next time, Asuncion. You beautiful, complicated, endlessly fascinating city, you.
This is just
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Escape to Paradise: La Morada's (Mostly) Charming FAQs
So, La Morada...is it *actually* an escape to paradise? Or just a fancy hotel with a cool pool?
Alright, let’s be real. Paradise? That’s a BIG word. And let’s just say, my visit was less the Garden of Eden and more “charming, with its quirks and all.” I mean, visually, YES. The photos? They don't lie. Lush courtyard, stunning pool, the whole shebang. But the *experience*? Well, that's where things get interesting.
My first impression? "Wow! This is seriously beautiful!" Then, I waited *forever* for my welcome drink. Turns out, the barman was juggling… well, let’s just say he was busy. Eventually, I got a lukewarm caipirinha. Not exactly paradisiacal, but the view from the courtyard while I waited was killer. So, Paradise-adjacent? Maybe. Definitely worth it, imperfections and all.
Okay, let's talk rooms. Are they as dreamy as they look online?
The rooms... now, *there's* a mixed bag. I'm gonna be honest, I'm a sucker for a beautiful room. And La Morada *mostly* delievered. Think beautiful, aged-wood floors, rustic furniture, that kind of thing. I booked the "Deluxe Something-or-Other" (can’t remember the specifics, too much Fernet in Paraguay!), and it was pretty. But... and there’s always a “but,” isn’t there?
The air conditioning. Oh, the air conditioning. Let's just say, it was trying its best. I'm pretty sure the fan was older than my grandma. One night, it sounded like a dying whale. Honestly, I considered sleeping *outside* just for a bit of cool air. Then, the "luxury" shampoo? Apparently, luxury shampoo in Paraguay means a tiny bottle that makes your hair feel like straw. Minor things? Yes. Annoying? Also, yes.
Honestly, I'd probably stay there again, though. That's how charming, how… *something* it is. Maybe it's the broken air conditioner forcing you to relax and accept things.
The pool! The pictures are gorgeous. Is it Instagram gold?
Oh, the pool. Yes. Absolutely. Instagram gold. You're basically *obligated* to take photos. I swear, I saw one woman spend three hours strategically posing with a cocktail. I’m not judging, though, I’m also guilty of that! The water? Crystal clear. The architecture? Stunning. The overall vibe? Perfect.
But here's the real story. The first day? Bliss. Serenity. Sun, cold drink, absolute joy. The second day? A bit more chaotic. Some kids (cute kids, mind you!) splashing like dolphins. A couple loudly arguing. And a rogue inflatable swan that took over the photo op space. Welcome to reality!
Still, I’d give it an A+. It’s the kind of pool that makes you want to just *be*, even with the occasional splash of drama. And the pool bar? Essential. Because, you know…hydration.
Breakfast! Is it the magical, leisurely experience you dream of? And what's the wifi like?
Breakfast... okay. This is where the "quirks" of La Morada hit me. It's included, which is a major plus. But it's not a buffet. It’s more like a *gentle suggestion* of food, brought to your table one plate at a time. The bread was fresh – amazing. The coffee? Strong enough to kickstart a zombie apocalypse. Wonderful. But the pace? Extremely leisurely. Maybe I'm just an impatient American, used to a buffet, but I felt like I needed to plan *hours* into my day just to get breakfast.
The wifi? Let's just say the wifi, like that AC, tried its best. Sometimes, it was brilliant. Other times? Dial-up Internet in the 90s was faster. I was occasionally forced to "unplug." (GASP! The horror!) Which, you know, might actually be what you're looking for... or maybe a necessity because the wifi is awful. I’m still not sure. I did spend a lot of time staring at the courtyard and taking in the atmosphere while working. It was fine.
Okay, the staff. Are they helpful and friendly, or are we talking about a language barrier and indifference?
I LOVED the staff. This is where La Morada truly shines. They're all absolutely lovely. There was some language barrier for sure (my Spanish is… basic, let's say), but they were patient, they were friendly, and they genuinely seemed happy to help. I asked them a million dumb questions, and they always helped me with a smile... even when I asked about the air conditioning (again!).
They made it feel personal, which is the biggest thing that sets La Morada apart from a regular hotel. One of the staff members even gave me a recommendation for a local empanada place. And it was AMAZING! Basically, the staff made the imperfections bearable and the good parts even better.
What about the location? Is it safe? Easy to get around?
La Morada is located in a nice part of Asunción, close to the city center. You can walk to some restaurants, but I personally wouldn't walk around everywhere at night. Use a taxi or rideshare (like Uber or MUV, which is local). The roads are… well, let's just say, you’ll get used to the concept of pothole dodging quickly.
Safety-wise, I felt secure. As always, keep your wits about you, don't flash expensive jewelry, and take the usual precautions. But the hotel itself felt safe and secure. They had a gate, and the staff kept an eye on everything.
Would you recommend it as an escape to Paradise? The final verdict!
Do I recommend La Morada? Absolutely. But with caveats. It’s not flawless. There are quirks. There are minor annoyances. But the charm, the beauty, the staff… it all sort of wins you over. It's not a *perfect* escape. It doesn't have the manicured sterility of a five-star chain. And honestly? That's part of its appeal.
If you want total perfection, maybe look elsewhere. But if you're looking for a place to relax, to soak up a bit of Paraguayan atmosphere, and to embrace the imperfections… then yes. Go. Book it. Have a caipirinha (even if it's a little lukewarm), and enjoy!
Just… maybe pack earplugs for the air conditioning!
